moderation kills the spirit.

I’ve had “Say Yes” stuck in my head since I woke up.

Also:

You texted me today.
It was right after my reality shock.

You texted me, and it was bittersweet.

I didn’t reply.
I hope you text me again, just to show me that you have initiative in the simplest of things.
Even if we’re not together.
Even if we’re not friends.

It's 8:32pm

and I’m going to sleep.
Today was so exhaustive.

Concern.

thebank:

proofofyouth:

thebank:

proofofyouth:

I went to my counselor today. I waited in a cold line outside the office for an hour before moving to the reception area to wait for forty more minutes.

She called me in. She noticed my sudoku book and apologized for not letting me finish my current puzzle.

I told her that I had finally picked my major. She told me that my choice put me on a six year course. We set up my educational plan. I became more and more tense by the second. She told me that my future field is very competitive and that, from now on, I should be acing all of my classes.

I’m going to graduate from Crafton in spring 2012. From then, I should be able to transfer to Cal Poly Pomona and graduate from there in 2015.

I’m freaking out. I’ve had a headache ever since I left her office.

I just don’t know what to do.
Should I change my major to something easier or stick with what I know and understand?

Your major is enginnering, yes? Are you good at it? Do you believe you can succeed with it? Are you up to facing the challenges with being in school for it for another almost ten years? Does it make you happy? Answers those and determine whether or not it’s what you want to be doing. The want and drive for all of that should overcome your concerns and fears. If not, then maybe you should decide upon another path.

Yes, my major is engineering. I don’t know if I’m good at it, but I’m great with math. Yes, I believe I can succeed in it. I’m sure I can handle the stress and the expectations. It does not make me happy, but I do not have the slightest idea of what does.

At one point, my father began badgering me about what career I was going to decide on. I began saying careers that weren’t really careers to shut him up. At one point I had decided on photographer, but he shot me down, saying that it was a hobby more than anything. 

At this point in my life, even though I’m young, I feel like I can’t go back on my word. Everything is definitive and concrete; why say it if it’s not?

But thank you anyway.

That’s what breaks my heart right there. I think if anything you should absolutely goes for what makes you happy, photography being one of them. Your father is probably traditional in the way that all fathers are and if they have a negative or lazy connotation seared to it in their heads, then they don’t realize the prospects of said idea. There are so many different fields to photography: wedding, travel, journalism, families, wildlife, architecture, business—and there is money to be made in those fields. I believe you should do what you want at this age because you aren’t going to be young for long and what makes you money is not going to be enough for your heart day in and day out. College will always be there for you if you flame out and decide to satisfy your father. While yes your parents gave you life, they don’t control yours. NOTHING is concrete and NOTHING is definitive. There are millions of grey areas and fine lines. I am in the same boat about unsure of what makes me happy and I think it’s one of those things you don’t realize until you are moments from being dead but it doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your youth on something that will please your father.

Concern.

marcusjones:

proofofyouth:

I went to my counselor today. I waited in a cold line outside the office for an hour before moving to the reception area to wait for forty more minutes.

She called me in. She noticed my sudoku book and apologized for not letting me finish my current puzzle.

I told her that I had finally picked my major. She told me that my choice put me on a six year course. We set up my educational plan. I became more and more tense by the second. She told me that my future field is very competitive and that, from now on, I should be acing all of my classes.

I’m going to graduate from Crafton in spring 2012. From then, I should be able to transfer to Cal Poly Pomona and graduate from there in 2015.

I’m freaking out. I’ve had a headache ever since I left her office.

I just don’t know what to do.
Should I change my major to something easier or stick with what I know and understand?

I usually take the easy way out, but I feel like I’ll never reach my potential that way. If you think you can handle the intensity, go for it. But most importantly, you have to figure out if this is a path you actually will be able to enjoy, or something that will never be worth your time.

I’ve been fucking up in school for years now, so I know what it’s like to not give it my all. I know I can handle this kind of intensity. I’m just taking a career path that I know I can succeed in. I’m not entirely sure I will be happy or enjoy it.

But thank you anyway.

Concern.

thebank:

proofofyouth:

I went to my counselor today. I waited in a cold line outside the office for an hour before moving to the reception area to wait for forty more minutes.

She called me in. She noticed my sudoku book and apologized for not letting me finish my current puzzle.

I told her that I had finally picked my major. She told me that my choice put me on a six year course. We set up my educational plan. I became more and more tense by the second. She told me that my future field is very competitive and that, from now on, I should be acing all of my classes.

I’m going to graduate from Crafton in spring 2012. From then, I should be able to transfer to Cal Poly Pomona and graduate from there in 2015.

I’m freaking out. I’ve had a headache ever since I left her office.

I just don’t know what to do.
Should I change my major to something easier or stick with what I know and understand?

Your major is enginnering, yes? Are you good at it? Do you believe you can succeed with it? Are you up to facing the challenges with being in school for it for another almost ten years? Does it make you happy? Answers those and determine whether or not it’s what you want to be doing. The want and drive for all of that should overcome your concerns and fears. If not, then maybe you should decide upon another path.

Yes, my major is engineering. I don’t know if I’m good at it, but I’m great with math. Yes, I believe I can succeed in it. I’m sure I can handle the stress and the expectations. It does not make me happy, but I do not have the slightest idea of what does.

At one point, my father began badgering me about what career I was going to decide on. I began saying careers that weren’t really careers to shut him up. At one point I had decided on photographer, but he shot me down, saying that it was a hobby more than anything. 

At this point in my life, even though I’m young, I feel like I can’t go back on my word. Everything is definitive and concrete; why say it if it’s not?

But thank you anyway.

Concern.

I went to my counselor today. I waited in a cold line outside the office for an hour before moving to the reception area to wait for forty more minutes.

She called me in. She noticed my sudoku book and apologized for not letting me finish my current puzzle.

I told her that I had finally picked my major. She told me that my choice put me on a six year course. We set up my educational plan. I became more and more tense by the second. She told me that my future field is very competitive and that, from now on, I should be acing all of my classes.

I’m going to graduate from Crafton in spring 2012. From then, I should be able to transfer to Cal Poly Pomona and graduate from there in 2015.

I’m freaking out. I’ve had a headache ever since I left her office.

I just don’t know what to do.
Should I change my major to something easier or stick with what I know and understand?